Conflict: when you are perfectly fine with spending a day to get organized, to clean up your life mentally and physically, and to set your bar extremely high for your workload, BUT you know there is just not that many weekends left with your best friends in school.
About me. All day.
See I'm trying my best to combine the two. Why not study with those people you'll miss? But it turns out not everyone can work this way. Not everyone grew up in a school with no walls where distractions aren't distractions (yes it was a fully functional building, and yes it was the best school ever), and not everyone likes to be like me and cling on before parting ways.
I actually feel better knowing that my friends and I are all going to be super successful in whatever we do. I know that for a fact. But the last few weeks before graduation, aka beginning now, I literally never feel like doing anything alone. I am a person who will walk down the street in silence with someone from a random class who hates talking, as long as they are next to me. I don't know why. It's just how I am.
So basically take that into account and multiply it by a zillion kabillion when talking about my best friends.
Some people would say if you spend too much time with friends before separating, that the pain is that much worse afterwards. But to me it's the opposite. Fading away a friendship slowly before a big change happens is so, so much worse.
And to all my close buddies reading this right now, now hopefully you understand. I don't wanna be too much at one time, and I get that you have a lot to do too. Just know that it means I care a lot if I cling.
How does this all tie in to today? Well I saw/ talked to a lot of the important people in my life today. My big, little and GL, my three amazing roommates, Christie, and then tonight when watching movies Lauren Danielle and Emily stopped by. That's what got me realizing that I seriously, scarily, have no time left.
But, that's okay. Isn't that what this blog is about? Noticing, embracing and somehow figuring out change. It's gunna happen, but we don't have to go through it alone.
Cathy will always hold a special place in my heart, and so will everyone I've met at my perfect school.
Sorry for all the feels. It's been a bumpy week.
Get yourself some Italian ice babes, you totally earned it.
XO
Amanda
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